Best lessons are the toughest.

I believe the best lessons that you can learn in life is actually about yourself. Your own flaws, short comings, how far you are from the next better person. Unfortunately, they are also the toughest lessons to learn.

For a start, there was constantly a teacher or a mentor to guide your way. Your parent was one. Your school teacher was one. Your seniors in school were probably one. Your supervisor was probably one if you are lucky. But you’ll notice that as you grew older, the teachers became further and fewer. Your own believes and personality, as they take shape, start getting in the way of your open acceptance to teaching.

Tough number one. The chinese say “江山易改，本性难移“, （translate: Rivers and mountains are easy to correct, own personality is difficult to shift.) . At this stage, life as the teacher takes over. If your resilence is strong and your stubborness is hard, then the tougher the lesson is going to be. Accept that there are some lessons in life that we have to learn, and if we don’t see how it’s not working in the natural order, then the lesson will be tough. Either we break early and feel the pain, or we realise very late and feel the pain for the time that passed us by.

Tough number two. If only you can see your own flaws. It is very difficult to see your own flaws, because you started off by believing that you are right in the first place. If you started otherwise, your openess to learn won’t set you up for the lesson. It is your closure due to your own believe that’s going to blind you.

Tough number three. You see your own flaws only when someone brings you a mirror. It’s always a bitter pill to swallow when it has to be someone to point out your flaws and you have to admit it. But that’s your pride getting in your way. It’s not so tough when humility is your first gear.

When you reach the stage in your life when you feel that there is no one else better to mentor you, that’s when you are up against yourself and life as the teacher. That’s where the toughest lessons are, and when you learn, you turn into a better person. There are no better lessons than that.

I end off with my mother’s advice.

“活到老，学到老” (translate: Live to an old age, learn to an old age.）. You stopped living when you stop learning.